Rap Hater Review: ___ Hip Hop Awards Cypher

I got an email from a friend of mine asking me to comment on the Cypher from the 2009 ___ Hip Hop Awards. I have seen these in the past and they are normally good. One observation is that most of the people that they pair up together don't match...I realize that the point is to get a bunch of rappers together from different places to show the "unity" in Hip Hop, but sometimes the featured artists are so random, that you spend more time thinking about how random they are instead of listening to their clever punch lines.

I will also say that this year's crop of Cyphers demonstrate in numerous ways how terrible the standards of modern-day rap fans have become. And before you say; "Rap Hater...Stop Hatin...You always hatin, Hater" I would like to point out the fact that there are both positive and negative examples that prove my thesis. I will also respond by saying...I'm The Rap HAter...WHat do you expect?"

So with all of that said, I watched each of the 3 (please tell me if there are more) Cypher Sessions From the 2009 Hip Hop Awards and made notes on each.

Nicki Minaj, Buckshot, Crown Royyal, Joe Budden


First of all...Who the f*ck is Crown Royyal? And why is he so happy without being funny. If you smile Rap, I at least expect to laugh, but this dude didn't even seem like he was trying to be funny. I'm sorry, but if You are too Happy AND not funny, you creep me out.

Nicki Minaj made me excited to see that, despite her horrible stage name, she was a respected Female "MC". I haven't heard the words "Respected" "Female" and "MC" used in a sentence together in about 10 years since Kim fell off, Foxy went Insane, Latifah started doing movies, and Lauren Hill just gave up. However...After listening to Ms. Minaj's rhymes in the cypher, I was immediately disappointed...Freestyle is Supposed to be improvised...and even though most rappers don't kick true freestyles, they at least try to pretend that they are really freestyling. The one thing that they definitely don't do is include way to many choreographed moves and ad-libs, or staged props (ie. Minaj's cigarette stunt.) SHe was way to animated and overacted the whole time...she even dropped that gem of a line; "Minde Ya Beez Wax"...I simply cannot, in good conscience, condone any foolishness like that. But there is a reason why Ms. Minaj is celebrated and it is definitely not her rhymes...I'll let Al Pacino Explain.



Calm Down, Al...there are several of rumors throughout the internet that imply that the ass Fake! And that is a damn shame. Fake Boobs, Fake Ass and Weak Rhymes is the best way for a "Respected" Female MC to fade into obscurity. Google Results for "Nicki Minaj Fake Booty"

But Back to the point...Next up is Buckshot who is one of my favorite Rappers and one of the prominent figures from the Golden Era of Hip Hop...and for some reason, I felt like he was out of place on this thing. I love Buckshot, but I kinda didn't want to hear him rap in this setting. I guess I felt that he was in a league that he didn't belong in, like if Lebron James went to College. You would look at his games and almost feel guilty that he was playing against people who are so far beneath his talent level. But that's just me.

Then There's Mr. Joe Budden...I never liked Joe Budden, I never liked his voice, but I respect him as a "Legitimate MC" and see why people would like him...Just not me. His verse was ok, but came off a bit lazy.

Mos Def, Black Thought, Eminem


This installment was a pleasant surprise...Here you have 3 of the Greatest MC's of any era spittin' at the same time. Whoever picked the lineups made a very intelligent decision and should be commended. In this context, it is essential to keep these 3 segregated from the others. WIth the exception of Buckshot and Maybe Budden on a good day, the other participants would be truly, embarrassed to share the stage with Mos Def, Black THought or Eminem. And the Rap Hater Twist is that all 3 of these MC's are from the 90's era...Late 90's, but still 90's. And that is why this years Cypher series demonstrates how terrible the standards of today's Rap Fans are because these three artists could absolutely NOT have shared camera time with any of the new generation participants without making them look ridiculous.

It's always refreshing to see Mos Def spit some real Hip Hop sh!t...he's been kind of incognito in the rap game for the past couple years, and I fear that he might be moving closer and closer towards becoming another WIll Smith. He publicly has said that Acting is his true passion and If you have ever seen Bamboozled (My Other Favorite Movie) you know that he is a damn good actor. That album Ecstatic that he dropped earlier this year with Madlib was decent, but most of Madlib's beats were old, so it took a little away from it...So, Like I said...It's always great to hear Mos on the Mic.

As Far As Black Thought...There isn't much to say. Dude is Nice. And most rappers can't f*ck with him on any level. Period. THis verse was Business as Usual for Mr. THought.

And Finally Eminem...forget all the silly songs, cross-dressing, Hilarious Nick CAnnon Diss tracks...this is Eminem's element. And when he is in his element, he is among the best. And let's be honest...Eminem's skill on the mic is Embarrassing a lot of Black Rappers out there that attempt to write him off because he's White and From Detroit...but The Wigga is a beast.

Wale, Nipsey Hussle, Gsan


I have to admit that after Wale, I stopped watching. Wale is a fresh new face DC which is grossly underrepresented in Hip Hop Community. Wale rep's his hood like the best of them and is witty enough to get respect Rap snobs while pleasing the masses. The only gripe I have with dude is that he sometimes seems like he's bored. But at least his name isn't Gsan.

UPDATE:

I missed one...

Ace Hood, Juelz Santana, Fabolous, Jadakiss


In a way it is good that I saved this one for last...even if it was by mistake. THis was the most enjoyable. All 4 Killed it. Haven't heard much from Ace hood outside of this, but on this verse, he actually gave me some hope of a better Hip Hop future...Crazy Flow!

Listening to Juelz Santana used to be a guilty pleasure of mine...He never rapped about anything of substance and he often rambled (example: "Choo Choo Train, Kook A Mayne, Zulu Game...") but i enjoyed his flow and the beats during the DipSet era were unparallelled (Listen to Diplomatic Immunity...any song). But I was plesently surprised to hear him spit something coherent and a bit comical on this. "You can buy the Rag, You can Buy the Bags, But it ain't no sign that say they Sell Swag".

Then there's Fab. Mr. Mixtape. Fab, like Eminem, is in his element on this one. He has always been one of those dudes that was a beast on the Mixtapes and Freestyles, but gravitated to the Pop side on his album. In this Cypher, he didn't disappoint. "Cause Everybody comin in the year is failin'...ask Why...and they just play Sarah Palin"

And finally, Jadakiss. Kiss is a Monster and I have no comment...I'll let his words tell it for me. "I know you herad of Kiss/This is the Cypher/I Murdered It". Yes he did.