R.I.P. Michael Jackson

I never really gave a sh*t about the plastic surgery craziness, the legal issues or any of the other media bullsh*t... All I know is that Michael Jackson is an American Music Legend. And that Off the Wall and Thriller R&B Classics! Thanks, Mike.

My Top 5 MJ Tracks:

Off The Wall


Rock With You


Billie Jean


Human Nature


Can't Help It

Race Card

I am going to take an opportunity to cash in one of my race cards and say some ignorant, racist sh*t. So with that said, I will start with this...

"Attention to all white hip-hop dancers...Please stop what you are doing and stop right now. You look foolish and out of place."

The only purpose White Hip Hop Dancers serve is to distract me from the awful music that they are dancing to. But no matter what purpose they serve...this has got to stop. I am sure that a lot of white hip hop dancers might be able to actually dance, so this is not one of those cliche' Black guy telling white people that they cant dance" moments. I am just pointing out the fact that they look absolutely ridiculous...

Believe it or not, there are still certain things that people cannot do without looking ridiculous. Not to say that there should be any limitations on what people choose to do because of their race. I don't advocate that at all...but if you choose to live certain lifestyles you need to be prepared to look absolutely ridiculous in the eyes of the ignorant masses that inhabit this wonderful country of ours.

For Example:



1.) Black Dudes wearing cowboy hats (If you are anywhere outside of Texas, you look like a clown)
2.) Gay Asian Dudes (Lloyd on Entourage is hilarious, but it still seems awkward)
3.) Black Dudes drinking Miller Lite. (Besides the fact that it tastes like ass...it just doesn't look right in your hands, bruh...at all. Go Grab a Guinness!)
4.) Mexicans working at Chinese restaurants.
5.) Asian Comedians (Maragret Cho is one of the most annoying people on the face of this earth...can't name any others)



6.) White People attending HBCU's. (Why?)
7.) White Dudes dancing in clubs.
8.) Black Rappers who are obsessed with Italian Mobsters. (Italian Mobsters HATE black people)
9.) Black dudes jogging. (In the eyes of most ignorant americans...you will look like you are running from the police. Stick to the treadmill, homie)
10.) White Girls at Rap concerts.(Especially when you see them rapping along with the lyrics)



11.) McDonalds employees who are not African or of Hispanic descent. (African americans do not count...I'm talkin fresh off the boat with an accent.)
12.) White Cab Drivers.
13.) White NFL Running Backs and Wide Receivers.
14.) White men coaching women's basketball teams (It seems very very creepy...and what happens during the post game locker room speech.)
15.) White Female Rappers...(never seen one in my life...don't want to)



16.) Middle Eastern strippers and Porn Stars. (Not that they are any less attractive than the typical American woman, but it just seems wrong)
17.) Black chicks with blonde hair. (just because Beyonce and Mary J Blige can do it, doesn't mean you can...or should
18.) ANYBODY driving with thier car windows down and blasting ANY non-rap music. (WTF?)
19.) Black girls wearing Ugg Boots.(It's not cute, boo.)
20.) White Dudes with Timberland Boots. (If you are not a construction worker or lumberjack, you look like an asshole.)

How To Ruin My Day

There is nothing worse than going into the bathroom when someone else is in there taking a dump. Especially when I am just going into the bathroom to wash my hands. At work almost everyday...I go into the bathroom and some asshole is in there dropping a load it feels as if they timed it to wait for me to go in there to smell that bullsh*t. And for the record...I am NOT being a hypocrite because I am able to time my dumps because of my inability (outside of emergency situations) to crap in a public bathroom. I physically cannot do it.

In fact, when I was in preschool I lived with my Grandmother for a while...She told me a story about a time when I got in trouble at the preschool. Apparently I refused to go the the bathroom at the preschool and the Teacher had to call her. To come pick me up. The reason was that I told the woman at the preschool "I'm not going to the bathroom here...I'm going to my Grandmothers house, because her bathroom is clean" and refused to use the bathroom. Apparently that has stuck with me.

So in summary...a good way to ruin my day is to be taking a sh*t when I am just going into the bathroom to wash my hands...because most times, i am going to wash my hands, It is because I am about to EAT...and the last thing I want to do before I eat is smell some asshole's asshole.

Wednesday Rant: Reality Show Competitions

I saw this video clip on Yahoo and it immediately pissed me off...here is the comment I left on the website.



I would like to see Joanna Krupa's fragile a$$ catch a pass from an NFL Quarterback without breaking her manicured fingers and see her take a hit from an NFL linebacker without getting her flat a** chest caved in. What a disrespectful b*@$#! For her to question TO being an Athlete because his leg gets stuck in a stupid obstacle on a stupid show proves that she is a spoiled brat. She wouldn't even shake his hand afterwards and TO congratulated the winning team. To get outshined in the Sportsmanship category by TO is an embarrassment.

I hate when people get on reality shows and have this false sense of importance when it comes to these stupid competitions. In the end, she will pretend to laugh and say some bullS%$# about "How much of a competitor she is" and make a joke about "Being such a meanie" but here's my message to Ms. Krupa..."Nobody gives a s*%$ about this stupid show...and most of us don't even know who the @#$% you are so we REALLY don't give a @#$%. Relax and go back to pretending to be pretty.

PS. I don't even like TO...at all.

Exit Strategy

Exit Strategy is a web-based comedy series that a friend of mine started a couple years ago. It's about a dude (idiot) trying to break up with his (evil) girlfriend and failing miserably.

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4

Happy B-Day, Pac

The man who first taught me about talking sh*t, and proved that you could still be intelligent and street at the same time. He is the all time greatest rapper ever. 75% of these corny rap dudes in the game today, owe him for their style, lyrics, and their whole persona. Seriously. A lot of these clowns would be unemployed if Pac was still here. Happy Birthday to Tupac Shakur. R.I.P.

More Man-Scarf Hatred

Because I am an asshole who is easily amused, I decided to experiment with a man scarf. I figured it was important for me to know my enemy and give credibility to my distain for the Man Scarf trend. I took a blanket, wrapped it around my neck and stood in the sun for about 5 minutes. I shouldn't have to say that I was HOT as HELL, but I did have on a T-shirt, so my arms were comfortable. The goal was to look as ridiculous as possible to help validate my hate. Mission Accomplished.

Just Because...

I don't give a sh*t about the interceptions at the worst possible time...I don't give a sh*t about the T.O. "drama"...I don't give a sh*t about his "lack of experience"...and I don't give a sh*t about him not advancing past the 1st round of the playoffs in his career...and I really don't give a sh*t about the botched field goal...I don't give a sh*t about him missing 4 games last season and leaving Brad Bum ass, ex Redskin Johnson to lead the team to 3 losses (Well I do actually give a sh*t about that)...But what i don't give a sh*t about is the fact that his expectations from the mainstream sports media are astronomical...and i don't give a sh*t about the fact that he looks like a douche bag when he's hugged up with Jessica Simpson...all I know is that if I had to start a NFL franchise tomorrow, he would be my quarterback. Without hesitation.

F*** The Giants...and The Redskins...

2009 Cowboy's Schedule

Rainy Tuesday

Today is Tuesday and it is Raining. I woke early this morning from a dream about the Apocalypse and the thunder had me thinking that the dream was real.

Chucks...

I love Chuck Taylors...The Black ones particularly. If I could, I would wear them everyday...Unless I was wearing shorts. They look wack with shorts. But I don't really wear shorts that often. So again, If I could, I would wear my black Chuck Taylor: Converse All Stars every day...With my short sleeved Polo Shirt. (See Post from April 2008). WHat concerns me is that, eventhough, they never really went out of style...they have become more trendy lately. I'm not really feeling that, but hopefully the fad will die down soon and I can go back to being old school but not trendy. One thing is for sure...you won't catch me wearing a damn silk man-scarf.

HBO - What The Hell?

I am very very close to Boycotting HBO. I am in the Middle of an ESPN Boycott, but that deserves it's own blog entirely. As if The horrible ending to Sopranos wasn't enough...They announced that they were ending the Wire...then they release the God-Awful, John From Cincinnati. Which featured acting so terrible that watching it felt like a knife in the gut...THEN, while I'm thinking that life isn't so bad because True Blood is actually a decent-enough show, here they come with this Joe Buck Live bullsh*t.

You know...There aren't too many poeple (strangers) in the world that I would get pleasure from slapping in the nose, but given the option...Joe Buck would probably be one of the first people slapped. You know, the one that I would want to get a good clean back hand on before my hand got too tired to enjoy the slaps. He is the most arrogant, self absorbed, condescending douche bags on TV and almost ruined NFL on FOX for me.

Monday Rant: Dudes with Scarfs.

Seriously...this has to stop. Who told these jackasses that it was #1 acceptable and #2. Cool for a man to wear a scarf as a fashion accessory? Am I supposed to believe that just because Kanye West or Jay Z wear a Louis Vitton Scarf, that it automatically means that it's not feminine? Scarfs are for cold weather and women. I understand that there are also cultures in the middle east and asia where men wear headwraps and turbins and stuff like that, but that isn't what this rant is about.
This rant is about these effeminate assholes who parade around wearing women's accesorries and confusing kids into thinking that it is ok to wear women's clothes. What disturbs me the most is that all it takes is for a "celebrity" to wear some gay sh*t on TV...then every jackass with a half brain hops on it like it's the cure for cancer.
For example...here is a Spin Magazine cover featuring Mr. West and Daft Punk. Daft Punk is wearing thier signiture robot masks...and Kanye is wearing some wack bullshit. N*GGA YOU HAVE A T-SHIRT ON WITH A SCARF!!!! WTF is the reason for the scarf? If you're cold put on a damn jacket. If you're hot then take the damn scarf off. it looks ridiculous. This is the reason why people get the sh*t slapped out of them. Punk Bastids.

Ghostface M**** F***** Killah!

I read this interview on a hip-hop website that i visit frequently (www.unkut.com). Apparently, Ghostface's new album is going to be a straight R&B album. Not that he is going to be singing, but he will do more songs that reflect "real life". He plans to put his glock and Hockey mask on the shelf and write some good old-fashion love songs. His explaination as to why he is making an "R&B" album is classic Ghostface...and F'ing hilarious. It should actually be recorded as a song of it's own.

Ghostface: Like when I did ‘Ice Cream’ and all the stuff like that. Remember ‘Ice Cream’? An album like that. A mixture of things, like you know how I did that Ne-Yo joint and ‘All That I Got Is You’ and stuff like that. It’s my last album [for Def Jam] so I wanted to do the album I always wanted to do, man. You gotta tell the fans that you not gettin’ no younger here – we gettin’ older! And everybody don’t sell crack no more, man. I don’t sell crack, yo. I ain’t movin’ no bricks or none of that other shit. I ain’t shoot nobody in like…since the early 90’s, man. How long you gonna be 40 years old and actin’ like you still sellin’ cracks and you on the block and you doin’ this and you doin’ that when times is more serious, man. We in a fuckin’ recession, B! Ain’t nobody gettin’ no money, man! We gotta stop lyin’ to ourselves and lyin’ to the fans. And the fans gotta stop bein’ so dumb and ignorant, and know it’s time to talk about grown-man situations. Shit that happen in the real life, inside your household, your love life, your personal life, that’s just like, ‘Damn, it’s hard for a nigga to get some money!’ It might be so hard to get some money that your girl might wanna leave you someday because you ain’t get no money like you like you used to be getting’ money! Those are real situations, so I think it should start goin’ back to songs that mean shit. All that other shit outside is just gonna keep us dumb, deaf and blind, yo, and we ain’t never gonna get nowhere.